Theme to STEVEN SPIELBERG PRESENTS ANIMANIACS
Music by Richard Stone. Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.
YW+D : It's time for Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You'll laugh 'til you collapse
We're Animaniacs!
Y+W : Come join the Warner Brothers
Dot : And the Warner Sister, Dot
YW+D : Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot.
They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught
But we break loose and then vamoose
And now you know the plot!
We're Animaniacs!
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.
Wakko packs away the snacks
+ While Bill Clinton plays the sax.
++ We've got wisecracks by the stacks.
+++ We pay tons of income tax.
We're Animaniacs!
+ Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.
+++* Meet Ralph and Dr Scratchansniff; say hi to Hello Nurse.
Goodfeathers flock together; Slappy whacks 'em with her purse.
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.
The writers flipped; we have no script
Why bother to rehearse?
Cast : We're Animaniacs!
We have pay-or-play contracts.
We're zany to the max
There's baloney in our slacks.
We're Animanie,
Totally insaney
*Dot : Here's the show's namey
*YW+D : Pinky and The Brainy
*Dot : Come back, Shaney
*Dot : The rain in Spainy
*YW+D : Cockamamie
*Dot : Shirley MacLainey
*YW+D : How urbaney
*Yakko: Citizen Kaney
*Yakko: Andromeda Strainy
*Wakko: Where's Lon Chaney?
*Yakko: Eisenhower Mamie
*Yakko: Miss Cellany
*Wakko: Chicken Chow Meiny
*Yakko: Dana Delaney
*Dot : No pain, no gainy
*YW+D : Hydroplaney
*YW+D : Money down the drainy
*Wakko: Penny Laney
*Yakko: Ehhh...
*Dot : Tarzan and Janey
*YW+D : Novocainey
*YW+D : Here's the Flamey
*YW+D : Meet Mark Twainy
*Yakko: Presidential campaigny
*Wakko: Hunchback of Notre Damey
*YW+D : Bowling laney
*Yakko: Bangor, Mainey
*YW+D : Frasier Craney
*YW+D : Mister Haney
*Dot : Quiche lorrainey
*Yakko: Lake Champlainy
*Dot : High octaney
Cast : Animaniacs!
Those are the facts.
+ These original lyrics eventually were replaced by...
++ Used in episodes 66-69
+++ Begun with episode 70.
+++* ...except for episodes 75 and 84.
In both cases, the original lyrics were used in episode H8.
* Variable verse -- only one is used per episode.
THE MONKEY SONG (Episode 1)
Music and lyrics by Irving Burgie and Norman Spain.
Adapted by Tom Ruegger.
Intro flute played by Squit until he hits Pesto in the eye with the flute.
Pesto : That's it! [fighting] Hey, you watch where you're pointin' that thing!
Squit : Hey, take it easy!
Pesto : You wanna play the flute?! I got your flute! Hey, here's your flute!
Flavio and Marita play a congo and steel drum, respectively.
Squit plays the flute again.
Pesto : I thought I told you to stop with that flute! Take that! Get outta
my face!
Squit : Ow! Come on! Come on, I ain't done nothin'! ...
[crash] wakes the sleeping Dr Scratchansniff.
DrSns : One Monday morning I got up late
And there were these monkeys outside the gate.
The guard tried to stop them but he had no luck
The monkeys got free and they ran amuck!
DrSns : I don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
YW+D : Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
DrSns : I don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
YW+D : Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
DrSns : My office was run by the studio nurse.
I came downstairs und what could be worse?
The monkeys was doing a crazy dance.
They put buggies in my underpants!
DrSns : I don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
YW+D : Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
DrSns : Monkeys dance then I dance too!
YW+D : Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
DrSns : I ran outside to get a stick
But I'm telling you, friends, those monkeys was quick!
'Cause when I returned, much to my disgrace
Those monkeys had the nurse in a mad embrace!
Nurse : I don't know what to say the monkeys won't do.
Yakko : For a nickel I'll give you a clue!
Dot : I didn't know your eyes were blue!
DrSns : I don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
Marita: Yessah, whoo!
Flavio: Ah, play that thing!
DrSns : I went to me bath for a shower and shave.
The monkeys goin' to put me into my grave!
The entire bathroom was laid to waste
And they shaved my head with minty toothpaste!
DrSns : I don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
YW+D : Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
DrSns : They is crazy-nutzo, I'm telling you!
YW+D : Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
DrSns : Then by this time I was feeling dread
They was using a shoe brush to shine me head.
I asked them to leave but they stayed around.
They pulled the chain and yee! I went down!
DrSns : I don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
YW+D : Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
DrSns : Call my lawyer; I'm ready to sue!
YW+D : Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
DrSns : Aaaaaaaaaa!
Marita: Yessah, brother!
Squit with the flute again, accidently jabs Pesto in the beak.
Pesto : Hey! That's it! Where do you think you're pointin' with that thing! ...
Squit : Ow! Come on! Knock it off! Ouch! ...
I'm losin' my tail feathers! I need those!
Pesto : Yeah, I'll give you one o' those! ...
DrSns : Well me patience ran out and I'm telling you sure
Tomorrow I show those monkeys the door!
And if they don't leave I'm inviting you
To my house for dumplings and monkey stew!
DrSns : I don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
YW+D : Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
DrSns : Now I'm in the stew. -- Oh, poo.
YW+D : Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
DrSns : Watch out for monkeys, I'm telling you!
YWDF+M: Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do!
YW+D : We're not monkeys; we're just cuckoo!
YWDF+M: Don't know what to say the Warners won't do!
Transcribed by Mark Hadley
NIGHTY-NIGHT TOON (Episode 1)
by Nicholas Hollander
Voice : Nighty-Night Toon
Inside the water tower room
There was a log flume
And a picture of a big baboon.
And three little toons
Acting like goons.
Yakko : I'm Yakko.
Wakko : I'm Wakko.
Dot : And I'm cute!
Voice : A dog and a cat
Runt : Cat? Where's a cat?
Voice : And a big-headed rat
Brain : I'm a mouse, not a rat
Voice : And two hippos who are incredibly fat.
Marita: Flavio, are we actually fat?
Flavio: No, my delectible. We are simply bigger than life itself. Mwah!
Voice : And in this room
And in this verse
Are Dr Scratchansniff
And...
Y+W : ...Hello, Nurse!
Voice : And three Goodfeathers
Who...
Squit : ...stick together!
Pesto : What do you mean by that?
You think I'm sticky?
You saying I'm some kind of gooey stick bun here for your breakfast
enjoyment?
Is that what you're saying?
Squit : No, I'm just saying--
Pesto : That's it!!!
[pow, crack] Here's your sticky bun! I got your sticky bun right here!
Squit : Ow! Come on! Knock it off!
Voice : And Mindy and Buttons
Are snuggled in bed
Along with a fellow
Named Mr Skullhead.
And an old squirrel lady
In cap and nightgown
Sits in her rocker and says
Slappy: Hey, pal, pipe down!
Voice : Oh, er, right. Well then...
Nighty-night, room
Nighty-night, toons
Nighty-night, log flume
With the big baboon.
Nighty-night, dog
Nighty-night, cat
Runt : I do smell a cat, but where's it at?
That rhymes. That definitely rhymes.
Voice : Nighty-night, hippos
Marita: We're big-boned, not fat.
Voice : Nighty-night, big-headed laboratory rat.
Brain : I am not a rat. I'm a mouse! [BLAM!]
Oh, drat.
Pinky : Oh, that rhymes too, Brain. Oof.
Voice : Nighty-night, Doctor
And...
Y+W : ...goodnight, Nurse!
Voice : Nighty-night, pigeons
Who constantly curse.
Pesto : [pow, thud] Pasta da (?)! Fettucini al fredo!
Squit : Come on! What'd I do? What'd I do? Knock it off! Come on, hey, come on!
Pesto : I got your sticky bun! Here's your sticky bun!
Voice : Nighty-night, Buttons
Under the bed
Along with his friend
Mr Skullhead.
Nighty-night, squirrel lady
In nightgown and cap
Slappy: For crying out loud
Will you button your yap?
Voice : Nighty-night, water tower
Nighty-night, lot
Nighty-night, Yakko
Wakko and Dot.
Nighty-night, people everywhere
Yakko : And nighty-night, Wakko's underwear!
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell
YAKKO'S WORLD (Episode 2)
Music traditional (Mexican Hat Dance). Lyrics
by Randy Rogel.
Announcer: And now the nations of the world, brought to you by Yakko Warner! Yakko: United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama Haiti, Jamaica, Peru, Republic Dominican, Cuba, Carribean Greenland, El Salvador too. Puerto Rico, Columbia, Venezuela Honduras, Guyana, and still, Guatemala, Bolivia, then Argentina And Ecuador, Chile, Brazil. Costa Rica, Belize, Nicaragua, Bermuda Bahamas, Tobago, San Juan, Paraguay, Uraguay, Surinam And French Guiana, Barbados, and Guam. Norway, and Sweden, and Iceland, and Finland And Germany now one piece, Switzerland, Austria, Czechoslovakia Italy, Turkey, and Greece. Poland, Romania, Scotland, Albania Ireland, Russia, Oman, Bulgaria, Saudi Arabia Hungary, Cyprus, Iraq, and Iran. There's Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Jordan Both Yemens, Kuwait, and Bahrain, The Netherlands, Luxembourg, Belgium, and Portugal France, England, Denmark, and Spain. India, Pakistan, Burma, Afghanistan Thailand, Nepal, and Bhutan, Kampuchea, Malaysia, then Bangladesh (Asia) And China, Korea, Japan. Mongolia, Laos, and Tibet, Indonesia The Philippine Islands, Taiwan, Sri Lanka, New Guinea, Sumatra, New Zealand Then Borneo, and Vietnam. Tunisia, Morocco, Uganda, Angola Zimbabwe, Djibouti, Botswana, Mozambique, Zambia, Swaziland, Gambia Guinea, Algeria, Ghana. Burundi, Lesotho, and Malawi, Togo The Spanish Sahara is gone, Niger, Nigeria, Chad, and Liberia Egypt, Benin, and Gabon. Tanzania, Somalia, Kenya, and Mali Sierra Leone, and Algiers, Dahomey, Namibia, Senegal, Libya Cameroon, Congo, Zaire. Ethiopia, Guinea-Bissau, Madagascar Rwanda, Mahore, and Cayman, Hong Kong, Abu Dhabi, Qatar, Yugoslavia... Crete, Mauritania Then Transylviania, Monaco, Liechtenstein Malta, and Palestine, Fiji, Australia, Sudan.Transcribed by "Yakko Warner" and Paul Hendry
PINKY AND THE BRAIN INTRODUCTIONS
Music by Richard Stone. Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.
Version 1 (Episode 2)
Pinky: Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky...
Try to take over the world!
YW+D : They're Pinky and The Brain,
They're Pinky and The Brain,
One is a genius; the other's insane.
To prove their mousey worth,
They'll overthrow the earth.
They're dinky; they're Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain.
---
Version 2 (Episode 9)
Pinky: Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky...
Try to take over the world!
YW+D : They're Pinky and The Brain,
Yes, Pinky and The Brain,
One is a genius; the other's insane.
They're laboratory mice.
Their genes have been spliced.
They're dinky; they're Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain.
Transcribed by Paul J. Lee
Lyrics from COOKIES FOR EINSTEIN (Episode 2)
by Paul Rugg
Open Your Doors
YW+D : Open your doors and buy our cookies
Yodel-liddle-laddle-laddle-yaddle-yodel-lee
Support the Scouts; get out your wallets
Yodel-liddle-laddle-laddle-yaddle-yodel-lee
Wakko: Yodel-ey-he-hoo...
Yodel-ah-ha-haa...
Yodel-ee-he-hee...
Yodel-liddle-laddle-yaddle-lodel-diddle-dodel-doo
Dobble-dee-dee!
(spoken) Sorry; it's the chocolate talking.
---
The Acme Song
YW+D : Whenever we're feeling blue,
Here's what we always do:
When your face is long
Sing the Acme Song!
You'll feel so fresh and new!
Yakko: There's the A that's first,
There's a C that's next,
There's an M; you're almost done.
There's the E; it's last
Now spell it out
A - C - M - E
That's fun!
Wakko: (spoken) Now backwards!
(sung) There's the E that's last
There's the M; it's next
There's C; you're almost done
There's the A; it's first
What's first is last
E - M - C - A
We're done!
Transcribed by Dov Sherman
Lyrics from H.M.S. YAKKO (Episode 3)
Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan. Lyrics by Paul Rugg.
We Surf the Sea
Sung to With Cat-Like Tread from The Pirates of Penzance
YW+D : We surf the sea
The Warners we three be
To catch a gaze
Of a beach to get some rays.
We'll never sink
Our board's not what you think
It's got a tail
In fact it is a whale!
Y+W : Yes, Brothers Warner we
Dot : And the Warner Sister
Yakko: You'd like her if you kissed her.
YW+D : We've surfed the seven seas
Now it's time to catch some Z's!
Hey!
---
I am the Evil Pirate Captain Mel
Mel : I am the evil pirate Captain Mel
Crew : And a really evil pirate, too!
Mel : You are very, very kind
I'm an evil mastermind
And I'll do cruel things to you.
Crew : We are very, very kind
He's an evil mastermind
And he'll do cruel things to you!
Mel : I'll kick you in the knee
Poke your eye so you can't see
And hit you with my sword,
Though I be a pirate swine
I have to draw the line...
So I will not push you overboard.
Crew : What, never?
Mel : No, never!
Crew : What, never?
Mel : Hardly ever!
Transcribed by "The Corinthian"
---We Should Run and We Should Flee
Yakko: (spoken) Song break!
YW+D : Gosh we're scared and gosh we're frightened
'Cause our itty-bitty new friend
Has his teeny-weeny brain all set
On blowing us to bits.
Oh, how horrible, deplorable,
This really is
The pits!
YWD/M: We/they should run and we/they should flee
Then where would our story be?
This could spell the bitter end
Mel : For animated kids like them!
Yakko: For the oldest Warner brother
Dot : And his pretty Warner sister
Wakko: And the other Warner brother
Mel : Their small lives I will smother!
They should run and they should flee
Then where would this story be
This--
Yakko: (spoken) Bon voyagey!
D+W : B'bye!
Transcribed by "The Corinthian"
---I am the Very Model of a Cartoon Individual
Yakko: I am the very model of a cartoon individual My animation's comical, unusual and whimsical I'm quite adept at funny gags; comedic theory I have read From wicked puns and stupid jokes to anvils that drop on your head. I'm very good at fancy dances; I can even pirouette Then smack the villain with a fish; I know my cartoon etiquette I can make my face all mean and really give you quite a fright Then make up with flowers made of real exploding dynamite. When in a jam I just yell "stop" and villains in their tracks are froze Then I sneak up and utter "start" and take my hands and honk their nose I am quite proud to be in such a hierarchial progeny From Daffy Duck and Tweety Bird to Babs and Buster Bunny. To suit my mood I can call forth a lot of different sceneries Like outer space and desert scapes and Himalayan eateries From this bag here why I can pull most anything imaginable Like office desks and lava lights and Bert who is a cannibal. YW+D: You see, in matters comical, unusual, and whimsical We are the very model of cartoon individuals!
SLAPPY SQUIRREL INTRODUCTION (Episode 3)
YW+D : The crankiest of creatures in the whole wide world,
Our next cartoon features Slappy the Squirrel!
Slappy: (spoken) Ahhh, 'nough with the singin', already!
YW+D : (sung) That's Slappy!
Transcribed by "The Corinthian"
Lyrics from SLAPPY GOES WALNUTS (Episode 3)
by Sherri Stoner
Acme Snax ditty
Sung to the William Tell Overture by Gioacchino Rossini.
Totally awesome Acme Snax They are fun and energy-packed Sugar-coated sugar sacks... ---Wonderful World of Walnuts theme
The world is a carousel of walnuts Beautiful, colorful walnuts...
YAKKO'S UNIVERSE (Episode 3)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.
Yakko: Everybody lives on a street in a city
Or a village or a town for what it's worth.
And they're all inside a country which is part of a continent
That sits upon a planet known as Earth.
And the Earth is a ball full of oceans and some mountains
Which is out there spinning silently in space.
And living on that Earth are the plants and the animals
And also the entire human race.
It's a great big universe
And we're all really puny
We're just tiny little specks
About the size of Mickey Rooney.
It's big and black and inky
And we are small and dinky
It's a big universe and we're not.
And we're part of a vast interplanetary system
Stretching seven hundred billion miles long.
With nine planets and a sun; we think the Earth's the only one
That has life on it, although we could be wrong.
Across the interstellar voids are a billion asteroids
Including meteors and Halley's Comet too.
And there's over fifty moons floating out there like balloons
In a panoramic trillion-mile view.
And still it's all a speck amid a hundred billion stars
In a galaxy we call the Milky Way.
It's sixty thousand trillion miles from one end to the other
And still that's just a fraction of the way.
'Cause there's a hundred billion galaxies that stretch across the sky
Filled with constellations, planets, moons and stars.
And still the universe extends to a place that never ends
Which is maybe just inside a little jar!
YW+D : It's a great big universe
And we're all really puny
We're just tiny little specks
About the size of Mickey Rooney.
* Though we don't know how it got here
* We're an important part here
* It's a big universe and it's ours!
* - In the original script, these lines were:
YW+D : You might think that you're essential
Try inconsequential
It's a small world after all!