I'M MAD (Episode 69)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.
DrSns: Wake up! It's late!
It's twenty minutes after eight
Everyone get up; it's time to go
Up and at 'em now
Come on; shake a leg
Have some juice and scrambled egg
On the floor and out the door
Let's get on our way.
Dot : Hey, watch out!
Yakko: What's the matter?
Dot : You almost knocked me off the ladder
Yakko: No I didn't
Dot : Yes you did; I almost fell
Yakko: Don't exaggerate
Dot : I'm not
Yakko: Yeah, right
Dot : Are you trying to pick a fight?
Yakko: Will you get out of my face?!
Dot : Well, you're always in my space
DrSns: Hey get off each other's case
Because we're trying to get along.
Wakko: I want pancakes
Or a waffle
This tastes awful
Is that all we've got?
Can't find my clothes
And I need to blow my nose
And my socks are full holes
And my shoelace has a knot.
Dot : That's my toothbrush
Yakko: No it's not
Dot : Well, it's sitting in my slot
Yakko: No it isn't; this is mine and that one's yours
Dot : Well, you're standing in my way
Yakko: Yeah, that's tough
DrSns: Alright now that's enough
Everybody get your stuff
Because we're going out the door.
DrSns: Every time we get into the car
It's so much work
It takes us twenty minutes
While you're driving me berserk
With your playing und your jumping
Und your running all about
When I finally get you inside
You always lock me out!
Dot : I'm mad, I'm mad
I'm really, really, really mad
You poked me with your elbow in my side
Yakko: No I didn't!
Dot : Yes you did
Yakko: Nuh-uh
Dot : You did
And I'm just a little kid
You're lying; don't deny it
Yakko: Oh, I'm gonna hit you
Dot : Yeah, just try it
DrSns: Will both of you be quiet
'Cause we're driving in a car!
Dot : Ow, he hit me!
Yakko: Ow, she bit me!
Dot : He said he's gonna "get me"
Yakko: No I didn't
Dot : Yes you did!
DrSns: Alright that's it; now I forbid
Either one of you to say another word!
Wakko: Are we there yet?
I'm tired.
I'm hungry.
How far?
My nose is snotty
Need to move my body
Gotta use the potty
Better stop the car.
Dot : Stop it!
Yakko: No, you stop it
DrSns: Why can't you both just drop it?
Dot : Well, he started it
Yakko: Oh, yeah, I'm really sure, uh-huh
Dot : Na-ah
Yakko: Uh-uh
Dot : It's your fault
Yakko: No it's not.
Your leg is in my spot
DrSns: Yakko you be quiet
Und that goes for you too, Dot!
DrSnS: Every time we take a trip
It's always just the same
With the fighting und the biting
Und the calling all those names
Then there's pushing und there's shoving
Und there's scratching on the neck
When we finally get to where we're going
Everyone's a wreck!
YW+D : Yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak!
Dot : I'm mad, I'm mad Wakko: Are we there yet?
I'm really, really, really mad I'm tired.
You poked me with your elbow in my side I'm hungry.
Yakko: No I didn't! How far?
Dot : Yes, you did, you did My nose is snotty
And I'm just a little kid Need to move my body
DrSns: Will both of you be quiet Got to use the potty
'Cause we're driving in a car! Better stop the car.
DrSns: We're here, we're here
Doesn't anybody want to give a cheer?
Yakko: You mean this is where we're all gonna spend the day?
Dot : At the circus?!
Wakko: Hey, guys, look! They got rides!
DrSns: Now you're satisfied?
Alright, everyone inside
And let's have some fun, okay?
YW+D : Yay!!!
Dot : I'm glad, I'm glad
What a really great time we had
Did you see those lions and those tigers
Weren't they neat?
DrSns: Are you happy now?
Dot : We are; thanks a lot
I'm sorry that we fought
From now on I'll get along
Yakko: That's alright, Dot; I was wrong
DrSns: Ah that's nice, now come along
Let's all get in the car.
Dot : You can take the seat you like
You're always so gallant
Yakko: Ah, thank you, Dot, but ladies first
You take the seat you want
DrSns: Everybody's happy now
We've had a real good day
Und now it's time to go back home
So let's be on our way.
Dot : You hit me
Yakko: No I didn't
Dot : Yes you did. Stop it!
Yakko: No, you stop it
Dot : Move your leg
Yakko: No, you move your leg
Dot : You started it
Yakko: No I didn't, you did
Dot : No I didn't, you did
Yakko: So what?
Dot : You always start it!
Yakko: Don't you cross that line!
Dot : You're not the boss of me!
Yakko: This is where the line is, right here!
Dot : Oh yeah? Since when? Get out of my face! I'm the boss here!
Yakko: Dr Scratchansniff, she started it!
SLAPPY & SKIPPY INTRODRUCTION (Episode 70)
Music by Richard Stone. Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.
YW+D : She's a cranky old critter
She's bitter
We warn ya
She lives in a treehouse
In Burbank
California
Along with her nephew
He says "spew"
He's cheerful
Then his aunt
Starts to rant
She gives him an earful
She's grumpy
He's happy
It's generation-gappy
Take a whirl
With the squirrels
Skippy and Slappy!
Slappy: Ah, put a sock in it!
Skippy: That's my...
YWD+Sk: ...Aunt Slappy!
A QUAKE! A QUAKE! (Episode 70)
Lyrics by Randy Rogel.
Music adapted from The Happy Farmer by Robert Schumann.
According to Rogel, these were his original lyrics. The song also appeared on the Yakko's World album with heavily altered lyrics. See the separate entry below for those.
Yakko: This is the city: Los Angeles, California.
On a starlit winter night
When the moon was shining bright
Back in January of 1994,
At 4:30 in the morning
And without a single warning
Something strange began to move the floor.
(song begins)
Yakko: A quake! A quake!
The house begins to shake
You're bouncing 'cross the floor
And watching all your dishes break.
You're sleeping; there's a quake
You're instantly awake
You're leaping out of bed and shouting
DrSns: Oh for heaven's sake!
Yakko: I ran outside with neighbors
Their faces filled with shock
That's because I'm standing there
In nothing but my socks!
Yakko: Oh, a quake! A quake!
Dot : Say it's all a big mistake
Wakko: Just feel the ground go up and down
Yakko: Won't someone hit the brake?
A quake! A quake!
Oh what a mess they make
The bricks, the walls, the chimney falls
Destruction in its wake.
DrSns: I did not have insurance
So I called zem from ze scene
Und suddenly I'm listening
To an answering machine say...
Yakko: Too late! Too late!
You shouldn't ought to wait
'Cause now you're stuck; we wish you luck
Here comes a six-point-eight!
Whose fault? Whose fault?
The San Andreas's fault
'Cause Mister Richter can't predict her
Kicking our asphalt.
Yakko: Seismologists all say
Tectonic plates are in between
An encroaching crustal mantle
W+D : Yeah, so what the heck's that mean?
Yakko: It means a quake! A quake!
W+D : Oh really, yeah, no fake?
We kind of had that feeling
When the ground began to shake.
Yakko: California's great
It's such a lovely state
And every lawn is sitting on
A continental plate.
Yakko: Los Angeles had fires
And a riot and a flood
And then a drought and the recession
And then now we hear this thud...
Yakko: Of a quake! A quake!
YW+D : How much more can we take?
Dot : We thought that we had seen it all
Yakko: But this one takes the cake.
The dirt...
Dot : ...the rocks
Wakko: And all those aftershocks
YW+D : It's just the planet moving granite
Several city blocks.
*YW+D: L.A. town is falling down
* While the ground
* Moves around
* We won't let it get us down
* We're Californians!
Yakko: A quake...
Dot : ...a quake
Wakko: It's time to pull up stake
Yakko: We're all fed up; we can't deny it
Dot : Fires, quakes, and floods and riot
YW+D : We want some place with peace and quiet
So we're moving to Beirut!
* - Sung to "London Bridge"
VARIETY SPEAK (Episode 71)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.
Yakko: In Hollywood they have a different language that they speak
It's spoken by those folks who went to school for just one week
Dot : It's found inside `Variety', a magazine they use
Y+D : And no one understands it when they read the movie news.
Dot : Like "Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix"
Yakko: Means someone made a movie that bombed
Dot : "The veeps in charge are now at large"
Yakko: Means everyone involved is gone.
Dot : "The plot conflix; no beautiful chix"
Yakko: So it's coming out on video soon
Dot : They're "taking their lix"
'Cause the critics say "nix"
Yakko: And the editors are gonna try to fix it in the mix.
Dot : But the "stock sees green" on page thirteen
Yakko: Means Disney's up a nickel a share
Dot : "Stallone cuts deal for a major reel"
Yakko: Means Rocky number six, so beware.
Dot : If you want the "poop"
Yakko: Or you need the "scoop"
Y+D : On Hollywood town this week
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak!
Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Dot : "A boffo smash makes Warner cash"
Yakko: Means there's gonna be a sequel next year
Dot : But "Paramount hurts and they're losing their shirts"
Yakko: Means Schwarzenegger's doing King Lear.
Dot : "Oliver Stone does next Home Alone"
Yakko: Means he's getting paid an arm and a leg
The budget goes "crunch"
Dot : But his name "packs punch"
Yakko: So they called up the accountants and they're gonna "do lunch"!
Dot : Well, the "ratings smile" on the O.J. trial
Yakko: Means a movie of the week to premiere
Dot : "Universal cuts deal with Mister Spiel"
Yakko: To do a hundred thousand movies a year.
YW+D : You gotta play it smart
If you wanna be part
Of the crowd that's hip and chic
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak!
Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Yakko: Normal talk makes producers walk
Y+D : You might as well speak Greek
You're gonna have to learn...
Wakko: Or the meeting will adjourn...
YW+D : Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety Speak!
Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
YW+D : Bah-doop-bah-doop-bah-doop-bahhh-dah!
Lyrics from THREE TENORS AND YOU'RE OUT (Episode 71)
by Jeff Kwitny and Nicholas Hollander
Food Song
(Sung to the Dance of the Hours from La Gioconda
by Amilcare Ponchielli.)
Three tenors: Calamari
Marinara
Ravioli
(Vir?) Ricotta
Minestrone
Macaroni
????
And a big slice of baloney!
---
For Slippin' on the Ice lyrics, see entry from Episode 50.
---Hall of Fame Song
Three tenors: Tommy Lasorda, Jackie Robinson
Roy Campanella, Henry Aaron
Mantle, Maris, Reggie Jackson, Baby Ruth
Willie Mays, and Filipe Alou
Lou Gehrig, DiMaggio
And Rod Carew
Matty and Moses Alou!
---
Three tenors: She's the crankiest of creatures in the whole wide world
Let's play ball with Slappy the Squirrel!
---
Lyrics from the Finale of Episode 71
Three tenors: We are Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You'll laugh 'til you collapse
We're Animaniacs!
Pepperoni : Meet Pinky and the Brain
Who want to rule the universe
D+C : There's Skippy and there's Slappy
Say hi to Hello Nurse
Buttons chases Mindy
Pepperoni : While Rita sings a verse
D+C : The writers flipped
Pepperoni : We have no script
Three tenors: Why bother to rehearse?
Three tenors: We're Animaniacs
We have pay-or-play contracts
We're zany to the max
There's baloney in our slacks
Domino : We're Animanie
Carumba : Totally insaney
Pepperoni : Spaghetti stainy
Three tenors: Animaniacs!
Those are the facts!