THE SENSES SONG (Episode 44)
Music by Randy Rogel. Lyrics by Randy Rogel and Tom Ruegger.
Yakko: The sense of sight
Is what guides us right
When we go out on walks.
Wakko: The sense of smell's
The way you tell
That you need to change your socks.
Dot : The sense of touch
Is what hurts so much
When you bang your toe on the bed.
Yakko: The sense of hearing is something good
'Cause if a tree falls in the wood
Would there be a sound? You bet there would
If it landed on top of your head
YW+D : Your head
If a tree lands on top of your head!
Wakko: The sense of taste
Affects your waist
Yakko: Which makes five senses in all.
Dot : There's a sixth sense, too, but it's hard to explain
It's a psychic connection inside of your brain
So you can understand people like Shirley MacLaine
Yakko: Who wear crystals they bought in the mall
YW+D : The mall
Who wear crystals they bought in the mall!
Yakko: And now the other senses!
Dot : There are scents you can smell
Like cologne from Chanel
Or the scents of expensive perfume.
Yakko: There are scents of flowers
We hope overpowers
The kitty box next to your room.
Phew!
Wakko: There's a sense of pride
You have deep down inside
Yakko: When you practice a sense of fair play.
Dot : There are dollars and cents that you pay at a toll
Yakko: Or the census man who is taking a poll
Wakko: And a sense of confusion; we're out of control
YW+D : And they really should take us away
Away
They really should take us away!
Dot : There's a sense of humor
A sense of doom, or
A sense of awe, sense of timing.
Yakko: The sense of a word
A sense of absurd
Like trying to do all this rhyming!
Dot : There's incense
Wakko: And horse sense
Yakko: And common sense, it's true.
Dot : Sense of wonder, sense of beauty
Wakko: Sense of honor, sense of duty
Yakko: A sense of doubt, a sense of danger
Dot : A sense of fear, when you meet a stranger
Wakko: A sense of style, a sense of worth
Yakko: A sense of direction for knowing the earth
YW+D : A sense of dread as we're singing this song
That it's starting to turn out completely all wrong
And it's time that we end it because it's too long
'Cause it just doesn't make any sense
Nonsense
This song doesn't make any sense!
Lyrics from KIKI'S KITTEN (Episode 44)
by Deanna Oliver
Rita : Miiiao! Miao miao miao miao miao ao ao ao!
Stomach's empty and I need to find food.
Stray: This trash can belongs to me!
Rita : Some stray cats can be so awfully rude.
Trash is public property!
Don't mess with me; I am in a bad mood.
Both : Miiiao! Miao miao miao miao miao ao ao ao!
Stray: Bye bye, kitten. Hope someday you find food.
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell
MARY TYLER DOT (Episode 45)
Lyrics by John P. McCann
Parody of the theme to The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Who can turn the stove on with her smile? Who can take a bubble bath and suddenly fill it with crocodiles? 'Cause it's you, Dot, and you should know it Put nitro on a bridge; go ahead and blow it. Mud is all around; I guess it's spring Name another crooner, other than Bing Don't throw your hat up in the air 'Cause what might land is a Frigidaire. Dot!Transcribed by Paul J. Lee
Lyrics from VIDEO REVIEW (Episode 47)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.
Yakko: Hey, look at this store!
Wakko: There's movies galore!
Dot : We've seen 'em a thousand times over before
YW+D : And that's why our brains don't work anymore!
Yakko: "The Player" is a movie
About finding fresh new scripts
Like "Rambo 3"...
And "Rocky 5"...
And "Star Trek" Number 6.
Dot : Eva joined with Zsa Zsa
And they formed a "Sister Act"
But both were "Unforgiven"
Because neither one could act.
Wakko: "The Hand That Rocked The Cradle"
Once belonged to "Hook", you see
But it got bored and so it joined
"The Addams Family".
Yakko: "Amadeus" was a genius
"Beethoven" was a dog
The "Muppet Family Christmas"
Is about a pig and frog.
Dot : There was a sled named Rosebud
And a "Citizen" named "Kane"
He rode it 'til the snow was melted
Now he's "Singin' In The Rain".
Wakko: The "Princess Bride" got married
To the handsome "Prince Of Tides"
Which now makes her dad, "The Fisher King",
The "Father Of The Bride".
YW+D : And pretty soon you'll find them all
Inside the "TV Guide"
Along with all the stars you like to see!
Dot : Like Hitchcock and Spielberg and Oliver Stone
Yakko: Shirley MacLaine and Sylvester Stallone.
Wakko: Francis Ford Coppola, Hepburn and Tracy
Dot : Robert Zemeckis and Martin Scorcese.
Yakko: Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Woody Allen and Mia
Wakko: Robert Deniro and Andy Garcia.
Dot : Sophia Loren, Barbra Streisand, Joan Crawford
Yakko: Paul Newman, Rock Hudson, Spike Lee, Peter Lawford.
YW+D : Jack Nicholson, Brando, and Marilyn Monroe...
And that's all the people we know!
---
Cast : We're glad the dinosaur is gone
He was an easy mark
But if we ever miss him
We can rent "Jurassic Park".
So when it comes to clunkers
Like "The Babe" or like "Presidio"
YW+D : Don't pay $7.50
Just catch 'em on home video.
As for us it's bye-bye time
So long now, toodle-oo.
We've had quite enough of this
Cast : Video revue!
GOODBYE SONG (Episode 47)
Lyrics by John P. McCann
Parody from The Carol Burnett Show
YW+D: We're so sad we've no more time together
Just to drop an anvil on your head
And stuff your pockets full of dynamite
Then tie you to a rhino's head!
Transcribed by "The Corinthian"
Lyrics from MOBSTER MASH (Episode 48)
by Nicholas Hollander
Italian Song
YW+D : Ravioli
Pepperoni
Tortellini
And spumoni
Funicello
Mastroiani
Toscanini
Baked salami.
Yakko: Minestrone
Extra cheesy
Dot : Fried scungili
Wakko: Over easy
YW+D : Muscantelli
Apabeti
Rigatoni
And spaghetti.
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la la, hey!
---
The Warner Waiter Two
Y+W : You called out for a waiter
Here we are for you
We'll serve you food much later
We're the Warner Waiter Two!
Dot : Don't order the fondue.
---
Sitting Here Before You
YW+D : Speak softly love and we will sing a serenade
To fill your heart with gentle love while music plays
Dot : The night is young
Yakko: The day is through
YW+D : And we were sitting here before you!
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell
LAKE TITICACA (Episode 48)
Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.
YW+D: Lake Titicaca, oh Lake Titicaca
It's between Bolivia and Peru
Lake Titicaca, oh Lake Titicaca
With waters tranquil and blue.
Oh Lake Titicaca, yes Lake Titicaca
Why do we sing of its fame?
Lake Titicaca, yes Lake Titicaca
'Cause we really like saying its name!
Titicaca!
Transcribed by Raymond Hom
Lyrics from ICEBREAKERS (Episode 48)
by Nicholas Hollander
Florida
Rita: We're off to Florida to lie in the sun
Enjoy my leisure time and have some fun
Runt: Tallahassee!
Rita: We're off to Florida where the smart people go
We're off to Florida where the tropical breezes blow.
Take me to Florida to play on the sand
Sleep in the mangroves and eat off the land.
---
Cats Always Get the Short End of the Stick
Rita: They say a smile will do the trick
With a little charm laid on thick
But listen, folks: forget those strokes
'Cause cats always get the short end of the stick.
---
I'll Go It Alone
Rita: I'll take my chances and I'll go it alone
Leave Runt behind me and be on my own
Head to the tropics where summer's in season
The sooner the better 'cause, man, my butt is freezin'!
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell
Lyrics from A CHRISTMAS PLOTZ (Episode 49)
by Randy Rogel and Paul Rugg
Christmas Past
(answering the phone)
Plotz: Hello?
Wakko: Hiya, Plotzie!
Plotz: Agh! What do you want?
Wakko: I want you! Mwah!
Wakko: I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past
And all the folks that you've harassed
They're glad that I am here at last
'Cause, Mister CEO,
It's movie time; relax and see
As we climb up your family tree
And look at how you used to be
Many years ago!
(spoken) It's showtime!
---
Christmas Present
(opening a present)
Plotz: Probably another fruitcake.
Dot : Who you calling a fruitcake?! I'm the Ghost of
Christmas Present! It's a pun -- get it?
Dot : Thaddeus Plotz, you mean old man
Causing pain wherever you can
It's all about to hit the fan
You greedy CEO.
You're guilty in the first degree
Of causing pain and misery
Now it's time for you to see
So hang on; here we go!
---
Christmas Future
Yakko: THADDEUS PLOTZ!!! Hello, I'll be your Ghost of Christmas
Future this evening.
Yakko: Relax!
Chill out!
Forget
About
Your cares!
(spoken) This is a man who knows what he wants -- he's also a man
NOBODY wants!
Yakko: Come on
It's time
For you
To climb
These stairs!
(spoken) You got a good head on your shoulders, Plotz -- too bad
you haven't got a neck!
Yakko: Show 'em what you can do
Plotz: (spoken) This is stupid!
Yakko: (sung) The Future is waiting for you
Plotz: (spoken) Leave me alone!
Yakko: (sung) Come on Plotz,
'Cause you've got lots
To see before we're through!
Girls: He's a dream
Hear us scream
His name:
PLOTZ!!!
Had no fun
And he's the one to blame!
Yakko: (spoken) Helloooo, nurses! Say, why don't you stop by the water
tower and I'll show you my stamp collection!
Girl : But Yakko, you don't have a stamp collection.
Yakko: All right, then; you can open my mail.
Girls: There's nothing he can't do!
Yakko: (spoken) They're crazy about me!
Girls: (sung) He's handsome; yes it's true!
Yakko: (spoken) Let me know when those costumes get heavy! Rowrr!
Y+Gs : (sung) Come on Plotz,
'Cause you've lots
To see
Be-
fore
We're
Yakko: (spoken) You know what I like about you, Plotz? [nudge]
Absolutely nothing!
Plotz: (falling) AAAHHHHHHH!!!
Y+Gs : (sung) Through!!!
Transcribed by Eric Walker and Bill S. Preston
Lyrics from LITTLE DRUMMER WARNERS (Episode 49)
by Earl Kress and Tom Ruegger
YW+D: We three shepherds traveling far
How we wish that we had a car,
We cannot sleep
'Cause with the sheep
We're following yonder star.
[On with the original from here apart from plurality. If there's enough
demand, the Warners' version of Little Drummer Boy will be put here.]
Transcribed by Olivia D. Isaac