----------------------------------------------------------------- ANIMANIACS LYRICS as appearing in the booklet for the ANIMANIACS CD ----------------------------------------------------------------- In order to shorten the length of this document, I have only included returns where necessary. Lines which appear in the booklet as: And living on that Earth are the plants and the animals and also the entire human race that are presumably one long line appear here justified to 76 columns. If you don't like it, deal with it. Anything appearing in [] is a comment by me. Typists: Will Bell, Paul Hendry, Chris Redinger, John M Turner. ANIMANIACS (M: Richard Stone; L: Tom Ruegger) It's time for An-i-man-i-acs And we're zany to the max So just sit back and relax You'll laugh till you collapse [1] We're An-i-man-i-acs Come join the Warner Brothers And the Warner sister Dot Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught But we break loose... And then vamoose... And now you know the plot We're An-i-man-i-acs Dot is cute and Yakko yaks Wakko packs away the snacks While Bill Clinton plays the sax, We're An-i-man-i-acs Meet Pinky and the Brain, who want to rule the universe Goodfeathers flock together, Slappy wacks 'em with her purse Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse The writers flipped, we have no script, why bother to rehearse? We're An-i-man-i-acs We have pay or play contracts We're zany to the max There's baloney in our slacks We're An-i-man-ee Totally insane-y Here's the show's namey Pinky and the brainey Pinky and the brainey [2] An-i-man-ee-acs! Those are the facts! [NOTES: [1] This version of the theme does not have the sound effects such as Dr. SNS laughing and collapsing, so the "till you" is quite clear. [2] Copied verbatim. Obviously a typo in the booklet.] YAKKO'S UNIVERSE (M & L: Randy Rogel) Everybody lives on a street in a city or a village or a town for what it's worth And they're all inside a country which is part of a continent that sits upon a planet known as Earth. And the Earth is a ball full of oceans and some mountains, which is out there spinning silently in space, And living on that Earth are the plants and the animals and also the entire human race It's a great big universe and we're all really puny, we're just tiny little specks about the size of Mickey Rooney It's big and black and inky, and we are small and dinky It's a big universe and we're not And we're part of a vast interplantary system stretching seven hundred billion miles long With nine planets and a sun, we think the Earth's the only one that has life on it, although we could be wrong Across the interstellar voids are a billion asteroids including meteors and Halley's Comet too And there's over fifty moons floating out there like balloons in a panoramic trillion mile view! And still it's all a speck amid a hundred billion stars in a galaxy we call the Milky Way It's sixty thousand trillion miles from one end to the other, and still that's just a fraction of the way Cause there's a hundred billion galaxies that stretch across the sky filled with constellations, planets, moons and stars And still the universe extends to a place that never ends, which is maybe just inside a little jar! It's a great big universe and we're all really puny, we're just tiny little specks about the size of Mickey Rooney Though we don't know how er got here, we're an important part here, it's a big universe and it's ours SCHNITZELBANK (M: traditional; L: Randy Rogel) Ist das nicht ein piece of chalk? Ya das ist ein piece of chalk Ist das nicht ein key and lock? Ya das ist ein key and lock Piece of chalk, key and lock Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Schnitzelbank Are we having fun yet? Ist das nicht ein cuckoo clock? Ya das ist ein cuckoo clock Does it nicht go tick tick tock? Ya it does go tick tick tock. Cuckoo clock, tick tick tock. Piece of chalk, key and lock Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Schnitzelbank! You see, it's a very easy song. Would you like to try? Oh, gee, professor, that'd be great! What should I sing about? Anything that you want. The secret is to just have fun, okay? Okay! Ist das nicht ein piece of bread? Ya das ist ein piece of bread Does it fit in Wakko's head? Ya it fits in Wakko's head Piece of bread, Wakko's head Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Schnitzelbank! Here, let me try! Is he not a cute man this? Ya he is a cute man this Is this not a great big kiss? Ya dis ist ein great big kiss! Cute man this, great big kiss Piece of bread, Wakko's head Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Schnitzelbank! Here, I've got one Is das nicht Otto von Schnitzelpusskrankengescheitmeyer? Ya das is Otto von Schnitzelpusskrankengescheitmeyer Ist das nicht ein incredibly long name to have to try and say? Ya das ist ein incredibly long name to have to try and say? Cute man this, Great big kiss Piece of bread, Wakko's head Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Schnitzelbank! Hey, you kids is pretty good! We're just gettin' warmed up! Is das nicht ein Otto's gut? Ya dis ist ein Otto's gut! Ist das nicht ein Otto's butt? Ya das ist ein Otto's butt Otto's gut, Otto's butt, Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Schnitzelbank Okay, I think you've got the idea Ist das nicht ein pair of pants? Ya das ist ein pair of pants Ist das underwear from France? Ya dat's underwear from France Pair of pants, shorts from France, Otto's gut, Otto's butt, Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Schnitzelbank! Ist das nicht ein hairy chest? Yas das ist ein hairy chest Ist dis man no longer dressed? Ya dis man's no longer dressed Hairy chest, he's not dressed Pair of pants, shorts from France, Otto's gut, Otto's butt, Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Oh, du schoene Schnitzelbank! WHAT ARE WE? (M & L: Randy Rogel) Maybe we are dogs, cute little dogs with ears, And little tails that we can wag, hey let's go fetch slippers and play tag! Hey, get off of me...! Maybe I'm a cat, whaddaya think of that A lovely cat that all the world adores And here's my kitty paws, With little kitty claws, which I like to sharpen on your couch! Augghh! That's not funny... Maybe I'm a bunny Hopping 'round here happy as I please Or penguins and it's cold, which makes you sneeze I've got it, of course! Maybe I'm a horse I can live on oats and hay And laugh and run and jump and play And you can ride on me all day! No way Hey, maybe I'm a skunk Oh boy, you really stink! A dinosaur might be some fun But then you'd be extinct Maybe we're all insects Do you like bugs and bees? You kids are buggy in the head Maybe we're giant fleas! Maybe an electric eel Yowch! Or a seal Get real Hey wait a minute, I've got it now You do?! Yes, I do We're not bees and we're not cats or bugs or horses or things like that What we are is clear and absolute! What we are, dear doctor... Is... cute! Smooch... I'm sorry I asked. YES, BROTHERS WARNER WE (M: Sir Arthur Sullivan (P.D.); L: Paul Rugg) We surf the sea! The Warners we three be! To catch a gaze Of a beach to get some rays! We'll never sink! Our board's not what you think! It's got a tail In fact it is a whale! Yes! Brothers Warner we! And the Warner Sister! You'd like her if you kissed her! We've surfed the seven seas Now it's time to catch some z's! Hey! YAKKO'S WORLD (M: Traditional [The Mexican Hat Dance] L: Randy Rogel) United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru; Republic Dominican, Cuba, Carribean, Greenland, El Salvador too Puerto Rico, Columbia, Venezuela, Honduras, Guyana, and still; Guatemala, Bolivia, then Argentina, and Ecuador, Chile, Brazil Costa Rica, Belize, Nicaragua, Bermuda, Bahamas, Tobago*, San Juan; Paraguay, Uraguay, Suriname*, and French Guiana, Barbados, and Guam Norway, and Sweden, and Iceland, and Finland, and Germany now* one piece Switzerland, Austria, Czechoslovakia, Italy, Turkey, and Greece Poland, Romania, Scotland, Albania, Ireland, Russia, Oman; Bulgaria, Saudi Arabia, Hungary, Cyprus, Iraq, and Iran There's Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Jordan, both Yemens, Kuwait, and Bahrain, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, Belgium, and Portugal, France, England, Denmark, and Spain India, Pakistan, Burma, Afghanistan, Thailand, Nepal, and Bhutan; Kampuchea, Malasia, then Bangladesh, Asia, and China, Korea, Japan Mongolia, Laos, and Tibet, Indonesia, the Philippine Islands, Taiwan; Sri Lanka, New Guinea, Sumatra, New Zealand, then Borneo, and Vietnam Tunisia, Morocco, Uganda, Angola, Zimbabwe, Djibouti, Botswana; Mozambique, Zambia, Swaziland, Gambia, Guinea, Algeria, Ghana Burundi, Lesotho, and Malawi, Togo, The Spanish Sahara is gone; Niger, Nigeria, Chad, and Liberia, Egypt, Benin, and Gabon Tanzania, Somalia, Kenya, and Mali, Sierra Leone, and Algier*; Dahomey, Namibia, Senegal, Libya, Cameroon, Congo, Zaire Ethiopia, Guinea-Bissau, Madagascar, Rwanda, Mahore*, and Cayman; Hong Kong, Abu Dhabi, Qatar, Yugoslavia, Crete, Mauritania, then Transylviania, Monaco, Liechtenstein, Malta, and Palestine, Fiji, Australia, Sudan! [* indicates an alteration from Paul's lyrics. Note that neither Algier nor Mahore are countries.] WAKKO'S AMERICA (M: Traditional [Turkey in the Straw] L: Randy Rogel) Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Indianapolis, Indiana, and Columbus is the capital of Ohio; there's Montgomery, Alabama, south of Helena, Montana; then there's Denver, Colorado, under Boise, Idaho Texas has Austin, then we go north, to Massachusetts, Boston, and Albany, New York; Tallahassee, Florida, and Washington, D. C., Santa Fe, New Mexico, and Nashville, Tennessee. Elvis used to hang out there a lot, ya know Trenton'n in New Jersey north of Jefferson, Missouri, you got Richmond in Virginia, South Dakota has Pierre; Harrisburg's in Pennsylvania and Augusta's up in Maine, and here is Providence, Rhode Island next to Dover, Delaware. Concord, New Hampshire, just a quick jaunt, to Montpelier, which is up in Vermont, Hartford's in Connecticut, so pretty in the fall, and Kansas has Topeka, Minnesota has St. Paul Juneau's in Alaska and there's Lincoln in Nebraska, and it's Raleigh in North Carolina, and then there's Madison, Wisconsin, and Olympia in Washington, Phoenix, Arizona, and Lansing, Michigan Here's Honolulu, Hawaii's a joy, Jackson, Mississippi, and Springfield, Illinois, South Carolina with Columbia down the way, and Annapolis in Maryland on Chesapeake Bay They have wonderful clam chowder Cheyenne is in Wyomin' and perhaps you make your home in, Salt Lake City out in Utah, where the Buffalo roam; Atlanta's down in Georgia, and there's Bismarck, North Dakota, and you can live in Frankfort in your old Kentucky home Salem in Oregon, from there we join, Little Rock in Arkansas, Iowa's got Des Moines; Sacramento, California, Oklahoma and its city, Charleston, West Virginia, and Nevada, Carson City That's all the capitals there are! VIDEO REVUE (M & L: Randy Rogel) Hey, look at this store! There's movies galore! We've seen 'em all a thousand times over before And that's why our brains don't work anymore "The Player" is a movie about finding fresh new scripts... Like "Rambo 3"... And "Rocky 5"... And "Star Trek" Number 6 Eva Joined with Zsa Zsa and they formed a "Sister Act" But both were "Unforgiven" because neither one could act "The Hand That Rocked The Cradle" once belonged to "Hook", you see But it got bored and so it joined "The Addams Family" "Amadeus" was a genius "Beethoven" was a dog The "Muppet Family Christmas" is about a pig and frog There was a sled named Rosebud And a "Citizen" named "Kane" He rode it till the snow was melted Now he's "Singin' In The Rain" The "Princess Bride" got married to the handsome "Prince Of Tides" Which now makes her dad "The Fisher King", the "Father Of The Bride" And pretty soon you'll find them all inside the "TV Guide" Along with all the stars you like to see! Like Hitchcock and Spielberg and Oliver Stone Shirley Maclaine and Sylvester Stallone Francis Ford Coppola, Hepburn, and Tracy Robert Zemeckis and Martin Scorcese Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Woody Allen, and Mia Robert Deniro and Andy Garcia Sophia Loren, Barbra Streisand, Joan Crawford Paul Newman, Rock Hudson, Spike Lee, Peter Lawford Jack Nicholson, Brando, and Marilyn Monroe... And that's all the people we know! We're glad the dinosaur is gone, he was an easy mark But if we ever miss him we can rent "Jurassic Park" So when it comes to clunkers like "The Babe" or like "Presidio" Don't pay $7.50, just catch 'em on home video As for us it's bye-bye time, so long now toodle-oo We've had quite enought of this video revue [The book puts the movie titles in an italic font, not quotes.] I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A CARTOON INDIVIDUAL (M: Sir Arthur Sullivan (P.D.); L: Paul Rugg) I am the very model of a cartoon individual My animation's comical, unusual, and whimsical I'm quite adept at funny gags, comedic theory I have read From wicked puns, and stupid jokes, to anvils that drop on your head I'm very good at fancy dances, I can even pirouette Then smack the villain ... with a fish, I know my cartoon etiquette I can make my face all mean and really give you quite a fright Then make up with flowers made of real exploding dynamite When in a jam, I just yell "stop" and villians in their tracks are froze Then I sneak up, and utter "start" and take my hands and honk their nose I am quite proud to be in such a hierarchal progeny From Daffy Duck and Tweety Bird to Babs and Buster Bunny! To suit my mood I can call forth a lot of different sceneries Like outer space And desert scapes And Himalayan eateries From this bag here why I can pull most anything imaginable Like office desks And lava lights And Bert who is a cannibal You see in matters comical, unusual, and whimsical, we are the very models of cartoon individuals! I'M MAD (M & L: Randy Rogel) Wake up It's late! It's twenty minutes after eight Everyone get up, it's time to go Up and at 'em now, come on, shake a leg Have some juice and scrambled egg On the floor and out the door, let's get on our way Hey, watch out! What's the matter? You almost knocked me off the ladder No I didn't Yes you did, I almost fell Don't exagerrate I'm not Yeah, right Are you trying to pick a fight? Will you get out of my face?! Well, you're always in my space Hey get off each other's case because we're trying to get along I want pancakes or a waffle, this tastes awful Is that all we've got! Can't find my clothes, and I need to blow my nose, and my socks are full of holes and my shoelace has a knot That's my toothbrush No it's not Well, it's sitting in my slot No it isn't, this is mine and that one's yours Well, you're standing in my way Yeah, that's tough Alright now that's enough, everybody get your stuff because we're going out the door Every time we get into the car it's so much work it takes us twenty minutes while you're driving me berserk With your playing and your jumping and your running all about When I finally get you inside, you always lock me out! I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm really, really, really mad, you poked me with your elbow in my side No I didn't! Yes you did Nuh-uh You did, and I'm just a little kid, you're lying, don't deny it Oh, I'm gonna hit you Yeah, just try it Will both of you be quiet 'cause we're driving in a car! Ow, he hit me! Ow, she bit me! He said he's gonna "get me" No I didn't Yes you did! Alright that's it now I forbid either of you to say another word! Are we there yet? I'm tired. I'm hungry. How far? My nose is snotty, need to move my body, gotta use the potty, better stop the car Stop it! No, you stop it Why can't you both just drop it? Well, he started it Oh, yeah, I'm really sure, uh-huh Na-ah Uh-uh It's your fault No it's not. Your leg is in my spot Yakko you be quiet, and that goes for you too, Dot! Every time we take a trip it's always just the same With the fighting and the biting and the calling all those names Then there's pushing and there's shoving and there's scratching on the neck When we finally get to where we're going, everyone's a wreck! Yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak! I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm really, really, really mad, you poked me with your elbow in my side Are we there yet! I'm tired. I'm hungry No I didn't! How far! Yes, you did, you did, and I'm just a little kid My nose is snotty, Need to move my body Will both of you be quiet 'cause we're driving in a car! Gotta use the potty, better stop the car We're here, we're here Doesn't anybody want to give a cheer! You mean this is where we're all gonna spend the day? At the circus?! Hey, guys, look, they got rides! Now you're satisfied? Alright everyone inside and let's have some fun, okay? I'm glad, I'm glad, What a really great time we had Did you see those lions and those tigers, weren't they neat? Are you happy now? We are thanks alot, I'm sorry that we fought, from now on I'll get along That's alright, Dot, I was wrong Ah that's nice, now come along let's all get in the car You can take the seat you like, you're always so gallant Ah, thank you, Dot, but ladies first, you take the seat you want Everybody's happy now, we've had a real good day And now it's time to go back home, so let's be on our way You hit me No I didn't Yes you did. Stop it! No you stop it Move your leg No, you move your leg You started it No I didn't, you did No I didn't, you did THE PLANETS (M: Richard Stone; L: Paul Rugg) The closest to the Sun Is the planet Mercury Next the shrouded planet Venus Is as cloudy as can be The Earth is next, we call it home Let's hope it stays that way And then there's Mars, it's really red What more can I say! The gassy planet Jupiter's As big as planets come Then there's Saturn with its mighty Rings made up of tiny crumbs We travel on to Neptune That's a gassy, freezing ball And cold and tiny Pluto It's the furthest one of all. There you go, that's our solar system. You forgot Uranus. Goodnight everybody. THE ETIQUETTE SONG (M: Richard Stone; L: Peter Hastings) When you walk into a party It's a formal universe Ya! So you jump on your host And with a kiss say "Hello, Nurse!" No! Remember that good diction Reflects so well on you Ya! So practice all your vowel sounds by saying "AEIOUUUUU" No! To use the right utensils is One of etiquette's demands So we recommend... You throw them out... And eat with your hands! A salad fork A dinner fork A butter knife A water glass A soup spoon A dinner knife A fork for eating pickled bass An oyster fork, dessert spoon, a napkin, and a finger bowl, A dinner spoon, a salad knife, a bread plate for your dinner roll! We've heard the rules you need to know to make that social climb But we'd rather spend our energy on having a good time! I'M CUTE (M & L: Randy Rogel) I'm cute, yes it's true I really can't help it But what can I do When you're cute, it just shows With these two darling eyes and a cute little nose And a pretty pink dress, that's adorable, yes And when they see my dimples then everyone says Oh shoot! Isn't she cute! Cute, cute Oh, isn't she cute, cute, cute I'm the one they adore I'm sweet and I'm cuddly And small just like Dudley but more It's a chore To be constantly cute And enchanting to boot When my lip's sticking out in that cute little pout Then there just is no doubt Why the guys like to shout She's a beaut Let's face it, I'm cute Cute, cute Oh, baby, she's cute, cute, cute Being cute's a thing you can't hide If you look up the word in a book There's my picture inside! "TV Guide" Has me on the cover Don'cha just love her? I'm simply a goddess And isn't she modest? I'm the answer to one of the questions on Trivial Pursuit For "Who's the most cute?" Cute, cute Oh, isn't she cute, cute, cute I'm cute and I'm sweet And I'm innocent, neat And so trusting If you want our opinion this song is becoming disgusting I'm cute So what! I never am vain She's becoming a pain in the... But I'm also real nice I'm a doll through and through So big whoop-de-do I'm sweet and adoring And also real boring And that's why we're snoring at you That's it! You've ruined my entire cute song! I am angry! I am furious! I am enraged! I have had it! You're awfully cute when you're angry You really think so? A babba dabba dooba do wah! She's cute! THE SENSES (M: Randy Rogel; L: Randy Rogel and Tom Ruegger) The sense of sight Is what guides us right When we go out on walks The sense of smell's The way you tell That you need to change your socks The sense of touch Is what hurts so much When you bang your toe on the bed The sense of hearing is something good 'Cause if a tree falls in the wood Would there be a sound? You bet there would If it landed on top of your head Your head If a tree lands on top of your head The sense of taste Affects your waist Which makes fice senses in all There's a sixth sense, too, but it's hard to explain It's a psychic connection inside of your brain So you can understand people like Shirley Maclaine Who wear crystals they bought in the mall The mall Who wear crystals they bought in the mall There are scents you can smell Like cologne from Chanel Or the scents of expensive perfume There are scents of flowers We hope overpowers The kitty box next to your room Phew! There's a sense of pride You have deep down inside When you practice a sense of fair play There are dollars and cents that you pay at a toll Or the census man who is taking a poll And a sense of confusion; we're out of control And they really should take us away Away They really should take us away There's a sense of humor A sense of doom, or a sense of awe Sense of timing The sense of word A sense of absurd Like trying to do all this rhyming There's incense And horse sense And common sense, it's true Sense of wonder Sense of beauty Sense of honor Sense of duty A sense of doubt A sense of danger A sense of fear, when you meet a stranger A sense of style, a sense of worth A sense of direction for knowing the earth A sense of dread as we're singing this song That it's starting to turn out completely all wrong And it's time that we end it because it's too long 'Cause it just doesn't make any sense Nonsense This song doesn't make any sense BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU EAT (M: Jacques Offenbach (P.D.); L: Randy Rogel) [1] Zinc trisodium, aspartate, [1] Sorbitol and bisulfate, [1] Oxide beta carotene, [1] Lactic acid, carob bean. Grade A milk emulsified, malto-dextrin alkalide, silicon deoxylite, lots of sugar, Hey, alright! Calcified synthetic salt, artificial barley malt, Glycerine and aspartate, folic Acid That tastes great! Monosodium glutamate, dehydrated calceinate; soybean oil, butter fat, caramel center I'll eat that! Hooray for sugar, 'cause we love it, chocolate chips, we want more of it, cakes and ice cream, watch us shove it, down our throats real fast. Here's a candy bar, you tried it? Hey, let's all see what's inside it Gelatinized triglycerin, phospate soybean lecithin, deoxylite tri-silicon, dipped in chocolate Bring it on! Citrus enzymes, BHT, powdered milk Sounds good to me! Baking soda, carob gum, carbohydrates Yummy yum! Monosodium glutamate, zinc disodium algenate, Whole grain flour, yeast and fat, Time to eat it, I'll do that [2] We like sweets a lot, but they make your insides rot, [2] So remember it's your body and the only one you've got [3] We like sweets a lot, so give us all you've got, [3] And we will stuff 'em in our bodies till they make our insides rot. [NOTES: [1] Spoken words by Yakko, included on the CD but not appearing in the lyrics for some reason. [2] The printed lyrics are also what is sung on the CD. [3] This is what was sung when the cartoon was broadcast on TV.] LET THE ANVILS RING (M: Richard Stone (Includes arrangements of traditional music and P. D. music by Richard Sanderson); L: Peter Hastings) Let us introduce ourselves, O people of this land We are the Warner Brothers With sister close at hand I bet you all are wondering, who is this young unknown? And why am I inheriting the Anvilanian throne? Yes, why? Yes, why? Oh, please, please tell us why The bottom of the family tree starts with Yakko, that is me I'm the cousin to the sister of the son's niece's brother Of the uncle's daughter's father of the nephew's sister's mother And my grandpa's only cousin was the king's daugh-ter's sib-ling But they're all gone, and that is why I am now your king! He is now our king! Yes! I am now your kning! Repeat what I just said! Repeat what I just said! And let the anvils riiiinnng! Old King Yakko's mania was for Anvilania So good citizens I pledge to you I'll do the best that I can do For honor, country, and the king, let the anvils ring! Let the anvils ring! Let the anvils ring! Let the anvils ring! ----------------------------------------------------------------- All lyrics (C) 1993 Published by Warner Tamerlane Publishing Corp (BMI) except 1, 14 published by Warner Tamerlane Publishing Corp (BMI)