[4 November 1995] Colin's stories of Randy Beaman and family from Steven Spielberg Presents Animaniacs. # 1 (Show 8) [Colin emerges.] One time, OK, see, one time Randy Beaman's mom had a dream that she ate a big marshmallow and it was really good, and she, and when she woke up ... [He scratches under his right arm.] ... her pillow was gone 'cause she ate it. 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps and into his house.] --- # 2 (Show 8) [Colin emerges with a cone of strawberry ice cream.] One time, OK, see, one time Randy Beaman's aunt was sitting on the ... [He moves the cone to his left hand and wipes his right hand on his shirt.] ... on the front porch and she, and she was in her bare feet, and she felt a lick and she thought it was her dog ... [He draws a smiling face in the ice cream, which quickly melts away.] ... licking her feet but it wasn't; it was this crazy guy that did that a lot. [He licks the ice cream, which falls onto the walkway.] 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps and into his house.] --- # 3 (Show 48) [Colin emerges, unclothed, holding a towel around himself.] OK, so, one time Randy Beaman's cat ate this fish from the fish tank but the fish was a piranha, it lived inside the cat forever, and the cat became Piranha Cat. 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps, accidentally allowing the towel to fall. He lifts it back up, blushing, then steps into his house.] --- # 4 (Show 54) [Colin emerges.] One time, OK, see, one time Randy Beaman's little brother ate Pop Rocks and drank a soda at the same time and his head exploded! 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps and into his house.] --- # 5 (Show 54) [Amid snow and in winter clothing, Colin emerges.] OK, so what happened is one time Randy Beaman went on a trip with his dad and they picked up a lady who wanted a ride home, and this was in Kansas, and she sat in the back seat and when they got where she wanted to go they turned around and she was gone! [His right-hand glove falls off. He turns to pick it up and puts it back on.] And Randy Beaman's dad talked to the man who lived there and told him what the lady looked like and the man said, "Oh, that's my wife, but she died four years ago." Spooky, huh? 'K, bye. [Colin turns to go back inside but slips, falls into the snow and is unable to stand.] --- # 6 (Show 62) [Colin emerges, holding a frog.] One time Randy Beaman woke up at night and he saw Dracula ... [The frog tries to jump away, but Colin grabs its legs, then stuffs it in his hat.] ... but he thought it wasn't Dracula -- just some clothes hanging up -- then he turned on the light and it really was Dracula. [Inside Colin's hat, the frog jumps straight up, landing back on Colin's head.] 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps and into his house.] --- # 7 (Show 62) [Colin emerges with a yo-yo.] OK, so, see, one time Randy Beaman's mom's best friend, whose name is Linda, wanted to get a tan more than anything, so she went to a tanning salon and she stayed in too long and she boiled her guts. [The yo-yo hits him on the head.] 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps and into his house.] --- # 8 (Show 62) [Colin emerges.] OK, this is scary. See, one time, Randy Beaman was asleep and he heard a "scratch scratch scratch" on the window and he woke up and nothing was there, so the next night he heard a "scratch scratch scratch" on the floor and he woke up and there was nothing there, and so the next night he heard "scratch scratch scratch" on his bed and he woke up and you know what it was? His mom's Lee Press-On Nails had come alive, and they were after Randy Beaman! Aaaaah!!! 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps and into his house.] --- # 9 (Show 64) [Colin emerges.] OK, see, one time, in the cafeteria, Randy Beaman was eating a baloney sandwich, then Jason made this gross noise -- thpt! -- and Randy Beaman laughed so hard baloney came out his nose! Really! 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps and into his house.] --- #10 (Show 64) [Colin emerges with a white toy airplane.] One time, OK, see, one time Randy Beaman's family had this party with food and stuff ... [A wing falls off the airplane. Colin looks for it as he speaks, then tries to put it back into its slot.] ... and they had like this bean dip for the chips and everybody ate it and said it was really good, only it wasn't bean dip; it was a mistake; it was really dog food. [Colin tosses the plane, which loops, sweeping him off his feet, then noses into the ground, breaking into several pieces. Colin gathers up the pieces.] 'K, bye. [Colin hops back up the steps and into his house.] --- #11 (Show 67) [Colin emerges.] OK, one time, Randy Beaman's sister, see, one time she was making a really ugly face ... [Colin demonstrates.] ... and Randy Beaman's mom said, "Stop it; your face will get stuck like that," and it did. [Colin, still making the face, giggles. Finally his face returns to normal.] 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps, tripping over the last one, falls on his face, then gets up and skips back into his house.] --- #12 (Show 67) [Colin emerges, unclothed, holding towel around himself.] You know what? One time ... [He accidentally drops his towel, but recovers.] ... Randy Beaman's uncle Roy blew his nose so hard his brains came out. True! [Colin holds up a hand of truth, which allows the towel to fall. He bends down to pick up the towel.] 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps and into his house.] --- #13 (Show 69) [Colin emerges, wearing Batman headgear and cape, but the cape comes to rest in front of him.] OK, one time Randy Beaman knew this creepy guy ... [Colin swings the cape round, but turns his mask 90 degrees in the process.] ... and Randy Beaman says to him, "Get lost!" [Colin finally fixes his mask.] And so he did and then nobody ever found the guy. It's true! 'K, bye. [Colin turns and walks away, but trips on his cape, falling on his face. He removes the cape as he stands, then runs back up the steps and into his house.] --- #14 (Show 69) [Colin emerges with a baseball and bat.] OK ... [Swing and a miss.] ... one time Randy Beaman had to take baths with his brother ... [Swing and a miss.] ... so one time his little brother took a potty in the bathtub ... [Swing and a miss.] ... and now Randy Beaman gets to take showers by himself. [A hit, and the ball smashes through an o.s. window.] 'K, bye. [Colin drops the bat then skips back up the steps and into his house.] --- #15 (Show 69) [Colin emerges with a model airplane.] Know what? OK, one time ... [Colin cleans out his left ear.] ... Randy Beaman ate some Corn Flakes ... [Colin wipes his finger on his shirt.] ... but it wasn't Corn Flakes; it was his brother's scab collection. 'K, bye. [Colin skips back up the steps and into his house.] --- #16 (Show 77) [Colin emerges.] OK, one time Randy Beaman put ketchup on his shirt, and fell over in the driveway acting like he croaked, and his mom, Mrs. Beaman, she freaked out, was screaming, and he laughed 'cause he was a tricker, and she grounded Randy Beaman for thirty years. 'K, bye.